Writings
I’ve been writing some different shit lately.
Too nervous to share it?
Should I?
It’s like… Spoken word poetry. Very dark. very Personal.
dono
My thoughts on my role in White Noise Reverie
So, I’m not quite sure how to start this, but I guess I’ll get straight to the point. Recently, I’ve been watching the popularity and demand for White Noise Reverie decline, due to numerous reasons; some of which probably are: playing too many shows, having some bad shows, etc etc. That wasn’t enough for me though - every band has bad shows. I decided to ask around as to why this is true, and the common answer among some people was both alarming and upsetting to me. Apparently, a lot of people do not want to listen to my band, or have stopped liking my band because I’m “cocky”. (This may or may not be true, but it did help to put some things into perspective).
Now usually, being who I am, I’d blow this off like it was just something stupid - but this is not an uncommon thing for me to hear about myself (unfortunately). I had the same problem when I was in SIREN, and when I was working for The Prospect. The worst part is, I don’t even notice myself being cocky, or controlling, but I guess no one would? I thought about this a lot today, and I’ve decided it certainly is easy for someone to get cocky, and/or big-headed when they’re in a band. Think about it, you’re surrounded by attention, by loads of people watching you and (hopefully) loving you. I guess also I got quite lucky that I went from a band like SIREN (not a huge fan base, not great music) to SWAS - who, almost instantly when I joined, met quite a bit of success and praise. I imagine this would stir up the “dang, I’m a badass” feeling in anyone. However, I don’t mean to make any of this sound like it is a justification for having too big of a head.
I am EXTREMELY sorry if I have come across as “cocky” or “douchey” to anyone. I’ve gotten way too into the whole local band thing once again, and have taken the “scene” way too seriously. I need to learn (once again) that you’re not a badass just cause you play in a local band. It really does suck to see yourself slowly becoming the thing you preach so intensely against.
Anyways, I am extremely considering what to do with my role in White Noise Reverie. I want to stay because I love the guys and I love being in a band and playing shows, but on the other hand I am going to college late August, and I don’t want to be the reason the band, or the other guys are being held back.
So yea, please feel free to respond with any comments or advice you may have for me (feel free to inbox me too). Anything is greatly appreciated, as I really want to work on this. Also, please know that I’m not trying to just start some pity party, this is all honestly how I feel.
:/
Gah… a big show’s coming up. You know what that means? A wave of excitement and anticipation? True. But what else? The loss of my (internet) person! My facebook/myspace/twitter statuses and default pics become mere promotion for the show! Ugh. Whatever. It’s Annoying. But I’m still a person, and trust me I hate having to hide behind the statuses and fliers, but I made the commitment, so that’s what I gotta do.
Today, a (kinda?) good/new friend of mine told me I was turning into a dick, because of cockyness about my band. Fuckk. I hate times like this. I ran into this problem last year with SIREN, and I’ve been using all the time since to really rebuild that and be a nice guy. It’s depressing as fuck to hear that’s coming back. Hey, my band’s okay - but in reality we’re just another local Sarasota Post-Hardcore band.
…
Everyone: I’m sorry if I’ve ever came off as cocky or bigheaded about my band or ANYTHING. I really don’t want that to become part of my person at all. Please let me know if you ever start to feel this way about me? Thanks. Again, sorry anybody and everybody.
-Jamsqueezy
I’m tired.
And I wanna start posting on this thing.
So where to start?
Today, if we’re counting from 12AM, was pretty dang cool. The show last night was sucky, but after the show me, Zach, and Casey went to Nicole’s house and Oscar and Alex were there. We had some interesting times to say the least haha.
Anyways, I’m running off 2 hours of sleep, and had to work 2-10 today.
I don’t have much more to say except I love Austin for showing me For Today, For the Fallen Dreams, and Attila. Fuck they’re good.
Uh.. .wsup den?
Jameazy
